in morse code: May 2009

ok. so i think i can talk about this now. since i use this blog as a type of journal/scrapbook i want to write it down. weird, i know, but writing helps me work through things. first things first--jake and i are ok. we only have a few bumps and bruises. nothing serious. we were definitely watched over. definitely blessed. so starting from the beginning:

we were headed up on a trail friday afternoon called "moab rim" which was, well, right on a rim of a cliff. that was our first clue. the second clue was when jake said, "i'm nervous about this one" and i got this feeling that we shouldn't go on. but, being the wife-wuss that i am, i pushed that feeling away thinking that i was over paranoid or just scared. wrong.

so the trail hugs the rim, continues upward, does a wide circle, and then goes back down the same trail. now this trail was gnarly which was just a continuous climb up crazy ledges. it was intense on the way up and on the way down. it was on our way back down that we rolled.

lorin, jake's dad, and the rest of the crew left us half way through the trail to get gas. so it was only jake's jeep with the four of us and mitch's jeep with another four people. we were almost done. i could see the end. and then a combination of things happened: we had jake's uncle, who did NOT know a thing about jeeping, spotting us. jake being the nice person he is, felt bad not taking his uncle's help. instead of waiting for mitch to help us down, we relied on the uncle. we also were a little too confident on getting down this trail. i mean we were 3/4's of the way done of this crazy thing. we could make it down ourselves right? oh so wrong.

we were trying to get down one ledge. jake was gently pushing on the break so we could touch down slowly. but no bottom came. i remember it all in slow motion. we started going over the top. my aunt started screaming and that's when i knew what was happening. i grabbed jake's shirt collar because wherever he was going, i was going too. I braced myself with my other arm, pushing the top of the car so i wouldn't hit my head. and then we rolled.

the windshield came in so glass flew everywhere. i think we rolled once. i hung there in my seat belt until someone, i think jake, unbuckled me. someone was pulling jake's aunt out. at that point i was trying to tell myself that i shouldn't cry. i was reasoning inside myself if it was a serious enough situation to be allowed to cry. then the facts hit me- we rolled, on a cliff, our car is damaged, and i don't know what just happened to me. so i allowed myself to cry. and i did. hard.

jake picked me up the best he could inside the front of the car and held me up to mitch or brian. all i cared about was my cell phone which someone took from me as stupid as it looked i'm sure. my shoes fell off in the roll so mitch tried to put me down where there wasn't a lot of glass. still crying, and probably over-the-top hysterical, that's when i assessed the damaged. i had to take major deep breaths. at this point a hiker across the ravine saw what happened and called 911. mitch ran down the rest of the trail to try to get cell phone service to get lorin and spencer from the campsite. brian also went down the trail and found a group of jeepers just ready to go up the trail. this was no coincidence. they had all the proper gear to tow us down the mountain. amazing. jake and i just held onto each other so blessed that we didn't roll a few more times. we were really lucky. all jake kept saying was "i'm so glad that i still have you". that helped me calm down.

in a matter of minutes spencer and lorin were up the trail, huffing and puffing from running the whole way. the group of jeepers were flipping the jeep back over to get it down the rest of the way. brian drove back to our campsite and brought back a trailer to tow it home. once the jeep was right side up, mitch fixed the engine to the point of it running again and drove it down. jake has such great brothers. everyone was so great.

i walked down the rest of the trail not wanting to get inside a jeep on a trail again.

that night we stayed in moab so we wouldn't get in another car wreck trying to drive home. that night's sleep was. the. worst. night. sleep. ever. everytime i closed my eyes, it played over again. we left early the next morning with malinda who was nice enough to drive us home.

we are at the point now where we can talk about it with each other. without crying. but there are moments when we will be driving in the car or eating dinner and we know what the other is thinking about. but we are blessed. the jeep has major body damage, but the engine is working great. the lift kit that we just bought for this trip is also in good condition. we are going to look for a jeep that needs a new engine or transmission and then just piece it back together. also nobody was hurt. nobody went to the hospital. what's interesting is that jake and i work together now so we can carpool wherever we go. that's not a coincidence either. for what happened, we really were fortunate. when things like this happen, it teaches me that material things can be replaced. (here is where i get all spiritual) i'm so grateful for eternal families and that jake and i could be sealed together forever and ever. Heavenly Father has a plan for us and gives us trials to help us become better. when things like this happen, it makes me a little excited to think what is in store for us or what lesson we need to learn.

but life is good now and we are just trying to get through it. we may call on some of you for rides!