we.

We are all together in this picture, somehow, which is a rare moment.
We are still figuring out our swapped roles of "working mom" and "stay at home dad".
We are letting go (well I am) of how clean the cottage needs to be.
We have to stay in one room when we are all home because if not, Myer worries one of us is leaving.
We have a hard time saying goodbye.
We are still couponing because we just can't bring ourselves to pay $4.00 for cereal when we can get it for $.99.
We somehow have time for that.
We just got our four molars in, and now we are getting four other teeth.
We are really grumpy.
We are also interpreting a few nights a week.  We are crazy.
We still only have one car.
We love our bike trailer.
We've had a lot of eggs and toast for dinner.

But we've never been more close and strong as a family.
We are going to make it.

thank you Monkey

Someone can't let go of Monkey.  Jake tells me that he carries Monkey everywhere-- breakfast, down the stairs, to get shoes on, and walking out the door.  Monkey used to stay only in the crib, and Myer only seemed interested in Monkey when getting ready for nap or bed time, but now he can't let go of him.  Oh it breaks my heart.  We may be washing Monkey more often, but everyone needs a fluffy passenger during life's changes.  Hold tight little buddy.

we have some news...

okaaaaaaaayyyy

So let's start off with the good news-- I am the new American Sign Language Teacher for American Fork High School!  Woot woot!  It happened so suddenly, like Friday night notice suddenly.  Should I explain? Let's.

Here comes the other half of the news.

Jake has been unemployed for the past 5 months.  Yes, I know we were just in the boat, and yes I know we announced he got a job in January.  But that only lasted till March.  Basically business was business, and we shouldn't have invested our hearts into the job.  But it was a job that tied us over during a hard time and we are thankful.  We've been struggling since then, and we got to a point of searching all kinds of options.  This just seemed to fall in place.  Who knows how long I'll teach, but I am grateful for this job (and a paycheck really).

Now let's rewind even further back to the good 'ol college days.  I made the unpardonable sin of transferring from BYU to UVU.  And am I ever grateful I did.  Looking back now, that is why I switched, to get a degree that would allow me to step into good paying jobs with flexible hours like interpreting or teaching school.  If I would have graduated with an English Major with all intents and purposes of just becoming a mom, which were my thoughts at the time, what would I be doing now?  A desk job?  Those jobs are great, heaven knows I did my share, but so not my cup of tea.  Life spins a mysterious web.  And if a mom had to go back to work, teaching is the ideal job--school hours, benefits, salary, holidays, and summer off.  So really, it's perfect.  I just have to keep telling myself that.

I feel overwhelmed/excited/nervous and sad to be away from Myer in the mornings.  I cried all night Friday night realizing that I never did get that one last day with Myer.  Just me and him.  I didn't see this coming.  And I worry about Jake.  His self worth has taken a hit twice in four months, and I hope that taking on Mr. Mom responsibilities won't damage it more.  That's made me cry too.  I was so hoping he'd find a job he'd love.  Somewhere out there, Jake's dream job just isn't ready yet.  So I'll work until it is.

Now that it's all out the open, you'll know why this blog will probably get the back burner.  Time when I am home will be Bryton, Myer, and Jake time.  My little family is holding on just barely but if I can divide my time between work and family, it'll work out.  I can't believe I'm teaching high school students again.  I swear I'm their age.

I really hope my students won't hate me for being a Knight...

man of the house

Jake's new job is taking all of his time.  All.of.it.  He leaves for work early, comes home late, and even some weekends.  Especially this weekend he worked all through the holiday.  So Myer has been filling in as the man of the house and forcibly, my date.  Even though he is the best sidekick I could ever ask for, it's tiring.  I don't know how single moms do it.  My hat is off to you ladies.  There is no break from 7 AM, to when he goes bed at night.  And there's everything else you have to keep up with too-- grocery shopping, cleaning the house, paying bills, laundry, cooking, etc.  By the time M's bedtime rolls around I can't even pick up the house after.  I'm glued to the couch basically from exhaustion.  And it starts all over the next day.  I really shouldn't be surprised I woke up with an awesome head cold today.  Oh, and yes, there are no sick days either.  Oye.

good news!

Jake accepted a job Friday!

Woot woot!

He starts today,

and can I just say, that I'm happy to see my Jake back.

He has a little twinkle in his eye.

Can't wait to greet him at the door tonight from his "day at work".

pic taken from celebrating Friday night with frozen yogurt.

here's looking at 2012

Let's get real for a moment, k?  This blog documents my little family's life like a journal slash scrapbook, and with that comes exposing our life.  And like some of us know, life isn't perfect right?  Life has it's good and bad moments right?  And this past year has been so good.  Almost too good to be true-- I was working my dream jobs, we had a baby, and Jake graduated.  I blogged all of that.  But life happens, and just these past two weeks life happened hard.  And now I'm blogging it.  And I hope you don't mind.

A week before Christmas Jake was let go from his job.  Now I do not blame a soul for this.  I blame the awful economy who force people to make cut backs.  I mean who hasn't felt the side effects?  So Christmas was a little different this year as well as celebrating the New Year.  We so badly wanted to end 2011 on the high we were on.  We tried hard to forget about the pressures money can push on you, and just enjoy our time as a family.  Myer really helped us remember what the season was all about.  I love feeling his little spirit.

So with 2012 starting today, goals and priorities have taken on a new taste.  Obviously Jake would like a job, and I would like to make cutbacks, save money, and be a cheerleader for Jake.  But mostly, I want to get through this as a family and as a couple.  We are getting back to the basics and putting our complete trust in God and his plans.  Kinda humbling.

This blog I hope stays positive but also honest.  (and maybe a little vent from time to time) but mostly positive!  So I'm taking a deep breath, stepping forward, and looking 2012 square in the face.  Here we go...

photo credit