Monday, May 12, 2014

their mom

Many tragic things happened lately surrounding babies, children, and mommies that I almost feel guilty celebrating Mother's Day.  I mean, I have both of my kids--healthy, happy, and mine. So how do I celebrate this sensitive holiday?  When tragedy happens, it repeatedly influences me and reminds me to treasure what I have.  Each time I hear something heartbreaking it rocks me back to what's important-- I worked hard to get my kids here, I promised my husband and God when we got married that we would try to have children, and I have given up career opportunities to be mom.  This should be celebrated within our little family because promises have been fulfilled, and indeed, we have Myer and Lennon which make me a mother.

I've also made a personal goal as a mom to raise to well behaved, polite, serving, happy, faithful, God-seeking children so that we can all end up together after this life.  This what my life has become.  I am mom.  I am their mom.  I'm not perfect and some nights I rip myself up and down with guilt of how I've handled a 3 year old and a 7 month old.  So why celebrate when I feel like I am nowhere near my goal?  Why celebrate when I am impatient my kids when other women long for kids?  But every day I am working to be better; to make my children better.  And that is something celebrate.  At least that is what I'm telling myself.

I also celebrate my mom who gave up a life she could have had but instead had 6 children.  I celebrate my sister Jamie whose example of patience and special way of caring gives me aide when I'm struggling.  I celebrate myself (vain?) because Myer and Lennon give me purpose to my life.  They remind me of my lifelong goal of an eternal family and that is worth celebrating.  And lastly, I celebrate those mothers who have lost a child, can't bear children, or who have never married as special women whose strength I can never match.  It's not about who has the best mom, who was spoiled the most, or who has the most kids, it's about what's after this life.  Some will raise children, continue to raise their children, or enjoy their posterity in the eternities.  I hope we are all there because we are all mothers.  Happy Mother's Day to you ALL. 
Jake, Bryton, Myer and Lennon